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The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

אילנה כהנא, הדרכת הורים | אימון אישי
Mar 9

Creating a sense of belonging is a very important need for children. A strong sense of belonging makes a child feel that they are part of something bigger.


Part of a whole that, without them, would be incomplete!


***Do they see me??


For a child to feel this way, they need to know and feel that they are seen, that people notice them when they are present and notice when they are absent.


***Sense of value...


A child needs to feel equal in value to the other members of the group. To feel that they are important and appreciated.


***Am I contributing/helpful?


The child needs to feel that they are contributing and helpful to the group, that without the part they bring, the group would not be the same.


***What is my significance in the world?


From this, they will learn about themselves, about their significance in the world, who they are, what their unique qualities are, and what they bring with them. This will lead them to grow, aspire for more, and mature in a healthy way.


Being part of a group is not just seeing my name on the door... it’s knowing that if I’m not there, the whole will not be complete. Because the part I bring to the whole is meaningful to me and to everyone else in the group.


This applies to every group of belonging.


A nuclear family, an extended family, a kindergarten, a class, an extracurricular activity, a social group, a neighborhood, and a city...


When I experience a strong sense of belonging, the sky is the limit for me.


So how do we make a child feel like they belong?!


We pay attention to them, to their qualities, and make sure they know it. We take an interest in them and the things that interest them, give them roles and responsibilities suited to their abilities and skills. This way, they will learn to take an active part and know that they are trusted. We consult with them on topics they understand (even Lego, at a young age, is a topic worth showing interest in). When they are absent, we make sure to tell them they were missed and that it affected us.


We give them the feeling, through words and actions, of how significant they are. That they are irreplaceable because they are one of a kind. Exactly as they are.


Parents, educators, every day ask yourselves: How can I help each and every one feel like they belong?! Because it is well known that "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts." And all of us, big and small, want to be part of the whole.


 

Thank you for reading!I invite you to stay connected and join our community:

See you in the next post! 🌟

Ilana Cahana



 

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