"I have a social problem," my 10-year-old tells me as he sits across from me.
"Tell me more..."
"I don’t have friends. During recess, I’m alone, so I read a book in class or go to the library."
"Where are your classmates during recess? What are they doing?"
"The girls are busy chatting, and the boys are playing soccer."
"You don’t play soccer?"
"No... it doesn’t interest me, and I don’t understand it at all. I prefer to focus on my studies."
"Are there friends who play soccer and also focus on their studies?"
"Hmm... yes..."
"And would you like to be friends with them? To talk to them during recess, to play with them?"
------- Silence ----- Tearful eyes and a slumped posture.
"Yes... but I feel like I don’t have the confidence to talk to them about the things they’re interested in because I don’t know anything about those things. I also don’t talk like they do."
"Would you like to learn more about the things they’re interested in so you could join their conversations?"
----- Silence again, tearful eyes ----
"Yes..."
______________________________
Does your child say they don’t have friends? Are you unsure if their classmates like them and enjoy their company?
Does your child connect with kids stronger or weaker than them? Are they a leader or a follower?
Do you feel they’re different? They don’t invite friends over, and they’re not invited either?
Do their friends meet in the afternoons, and your child "prefers not to"?
Do you feel they speak a bit differently than their peers, using more formal language and less slang?
Do they not know how to join a group? Do they not belong to one?
There’s a high likelihood they lack the social skills needed to integrate positively.
Are they competitive, struggle to lose, annoy others, or report that everyone annoys them?
Do they talk a lot and quickly, not always knowing when to stop, interrupting conversations or games?
Social skills can and should be learned. A child with social difficulties is not available for learning. Their self-esteem is low. They lack confidence. They are preoccupied and may develop feelings of anxiety and depression.
If you have doubts about their social standing—if it bothers them and/or you—
Call now to schedule a meeting and an assessment of their social skills.
Together, we’ll identify the challenges and teach them all the tools needed to create positive interactions and behave in a way that aligns with the social group they belong to.
Start the year on the right foot.

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Ilana Cahana
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